Peter Pan Parodies Wiki
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Back at the ship, Captain Hook snapped out of it and got back to the subject. "And now, which will it be? The pen? Or the plank?" he asked, pointing to the plank.

"Captain Hook, we will never join your crew!" Wendy said bravely, and Skippy gave him a fighting pose.

"As you wish. Ladies first, my dear." Hook said.

Wendy turned to the toys while Skippy wiped a tear off his cheek. "Goodbye, boys." she said, patting Tigger on the head.

"Goodbye, Wendy." the Lost Hundred Acre Wood Toys said tearfully.

Wendy turned to Skippy and pat his cheek. "Be brave, Skippy." she urged.

"I shall strive to, Wendy!" Skippy said, trying not to cry.

Then Wendy walked to Piglet, who was also wiping a tear from his eye, and gave him a hug. "Goodbye, Piglet."

"Goodbye!" sobbed Piglet, as he wiped another tear off his cheek with his hoof.

One of the pirates grabbed Wendy and shoved Piglet back to the mast. "Come here! Get out of the way!"

Another pirate tied Skippy, Piglet, Tigger, Pooh, Roo, Lumpy, Rabbit, and Eeyore back up to the mast. "Don't give us any more trouble!"

As Wendy got onto the plank, the pirates chanted, "Go on, go on! Get it over with! Move along!"

Wendy looked up in the sky and shed a tear, knowing that Peter wouldn't be able to save her now.

"Wendy, Wendy!" Piglet called. But Wendy fell off the edge of the plank. Hook waited for a splash, but it didn't come. Hook's smirk became confused (and we can't see it). "What?"

"C…Captain, no splash." Mr. Smee said.

"Not a sound." said Hook, as he and the pirates had a look.

"Not a blooming ripple." one of the pirates said.

"It's a jinx!" pirate gasped, "That's what it is."

But it was actually Peter who rescued Wendy just in time and was hiding from them, standing on an anchor. Wendy was overjoyed of seeing Peter alive. With Tinkerbell, Peter flew off with Wendy to the top of the mast without being noticed.

"No splash." the third one said.

"No sign of the wench." said the fourth one.

"Did you hear a splash?" asked the fifth one.

"I'm telling you, mates, it's a bad day. Mark me words. We'll all play for this." the sixth one said.

"The ship's bewitched!" the seventh one said.

Starkey turned to Hook. "No splash, Captain."

"So, you want a splash, Mr. Starkey?" asked Hook. Then he grabbed the pirate by his shirt, yelling, "I'LL GIVE YOU A SPLASH!" He threw the pirate overboard, and there was a splash. "WHO'S NEXT?!" Hook snarled.

"You're next, Hook!" hollered a voice. Hook gasped and looked up. Peter was on the sails. "This time you've gone too far!" he said.

"It's Peter!" Rabbit said.

"Peter's alive!" Tigger said.

"Peter!" Skippy called.

"And Wendy." Piglet said, as he noticed Wendy in the crow's nest.

"It can't be!" Hook gasped.

"It's his blinking ghost who's talking!" Smee said in utter fear.

Peter got out his sword. "Say your prays, Hook!"

Hook snarled and got out his own sword. "I assure you this ghost has blood in his veins!" Peter flew straight at him. "I'll run him through!" Hook tried to stab him, but he missed, and Peter used his sword to hit him in the rear. "Oh!" Hook felt that and turned to face Peter.

"Take that!" Hook yelled, as he and Peter got into a sword fight once more. Hook kept missing Peter every time, and Peter defended his attacks. Hook came out from behind Peter and was about to use his hook when Peter dodged, and Hook got his hook stuck in the mast. "Curse this hook!" Hook snarled, as he struggled to get free but no luck.

Seeing his chance, Peter used his sword to free Skippy, Piglet, and the toys. "Come on, everybody!"

As he flew off to somewhere, the toys grabbed some weapons and ran to the rope ladder.

"Hurry, Piglet! Hurry!" Skippy called, as Piglet picked up a cannon ball and put it in his stuffed toy penguin for some reason. He grabbed the toy penguin by the arm and tried to run, but he fell flat on his rear end due to the weight in the toy penguin.

"Don't stand there, you bilge rats! Get those scurvy brats!" Hook ordered.

The pirates went after Skippy, Piglet, and the toys. Piglet got his foot caught in one of the ropes and saw the pirates gaining on him, sweating with anxiety. But, using his umbrella, Skippy, who was also sweating with anxiety, took him to safety on the crow's nest.

Hook used his sword to escape the mast only to lose his balance onto the plank and almost fell in Tick-Tock's mouth. But Hook got back on. Tick-Tock splashed the water with his fist, looking disappointed. Peter flew in, blocked Hook's attack, pulled his hat down over his head, cut around the lid, cut and grabbed his feather, and flew off. Hook had to pull off his now ruined hat.

"This is no boy!" Hook said, "'Tis some fiend fighting me. A flying devil!"

Peter smirked as he landed on the sail and used his sword to destroy Hook's feather. Smee, with some bags and a chest, got into a rowing boat and tried to escape.

In the crow's nest, Skippy and the Lost Hundred Acre Wood Toys got ready to attack as the pirates were still climbing up the ladder.

"Hold your fire," Skippy said. "Steady, men. Steady. FIRE!" The toys launched their weapons, knocking each of the pirates on the head. Turk got to the top first. "Down you blackguard!" Skippy yelled. Turk tried to cut off Skippy's head, but Skippy kept dodging, and Tinkerbell held onto his mustache.

"Get away from me, you slimy, little pixie!" Turk snarled.

Below, Peter and Hook were still locked in their sword fight as they clashed their swords back and forth. Tinkerbell slipped off Turk's mustache and saw what was happening. Peter and Hook locked their blades together as Tinkerbell flew up to Peter and whispered in his ear.

"The boys are in trouble, Peter." Tinkerbell said.

Peter looked up and managed to duck in time before Hook could cut off his hat. Using it as a catapult, Peter bounced off another rope ladder and kicked Hook. Hook crashed into an cannon and got hit on the head. He became dazed. Seeing that his friends were in trouble, Peter flew up and cut the rope ladder that had the pirates on. The pirates fell in the boat where Smee was. Turk was holding on the edge, but Piglet bopped him on the top of his head with his cannon ball-filled penguin. Turk fell and landed in the rowing boat which landed on the sea.

"Smooth move, Piglet, dog!" Eeyore cheered.

"Well done, penguin killer!" Roo cheered.

"Hurray for penguin killer!" Lumpy said, as he patted Piglet on the back.

Peter flew around the ship.

"Fly, fly, fly, you coward!" Hook shouted, as he climbed up the rope ladder.

Peter landed on the railing of the sail. "Coward? Me?"

Hook laughed. "You wouldn't dare to fight old Hook man to man! You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!"

"Nobody calls Pan a coward and lives!" Peter said, as he held his sword up, "I'll fight you man to man with one hand behind my back."

Peter and Hook locked blades again and put their faces together.

"You mean, you won't fly?"

Wendy, Skippy, Piglet, Tigger, Pooh, Roo, Lumpy, Rabbit, and Eeyore watched on in horror. "No, no, Peter! It's a trick!" Wendy cried.

"I give my word, Hook!" Peter said.

"Good! Then let's have at it!" He pushed Peter off the railing, but Peter grabbed on the rope and continued sword fighting with Hook as he got back on. Hook tried to stab him, but Peter got onto another rope and swung to the other side, but Hook cut it off when he got to the other side.

Below, Tick-Tock was expecting to have Hook for his dinner.

Peter dodged most of Hook's swings and then sword clashed again. Suddenly, Peter lost his grip of his sword, and Hook caught it with his hook. "Now!" Hook snarled, as he threw it away. "Insolent youth, prepare to die!" Hook pointed his sword at Peter's chest.

"Fly! Fly, Peter!" Wendy pleaded, "Fly!"

"No!" Peter said, "I gave my word." As Hook was about to finish him off, Peter leapt up, pulled the flag over Hook, and tied him to the mast. Hook dropped his sword, but Peter took it and held it in front of Hook. "You're mine, Hook!"

The boys and Wendy cheered. Peter tricked Captain Hook and won.

"Cleave him to the brisket!" Piglet called, as Wendy hugged him.

Hook poked his head out from the flag and has a face of wanting for forgiveness. "You wouldn't do old Hook in now, would you lad? I'll go away forever." he pleaded, as he shed a few tears, "I'll do anything you say!"

"Well, all right, if you…" Peter smirked, as he pointed the sword at him, "Say you're a codfish!"

Hook gulped "I'm a codfish." Hook said quietly.

"Louder!" Peter said.

"I'M A CODFISH!!!" Hook hollered.

"Hurray!" The children cheered and chanted, "Hook is a codfish, a codfish, a codfish! Hook is a codfish, a codfish, a codfish!" Tick-Tock was enjoying it too.

"All right, Hook," Peter said. "you're free to go. And never return!" He threw away the sword and did a rooster's crow again, unaware of Hook trying to kill him from behind with his hook.

"PETER!" Wendy screamed, as she saw it.

Peter knew that would happen as he dodged Hook's hook. Hook lost his balance and fell. He screamed as he saw Tick-Tock waiting and tried to run. Tick-Tock got him in his mouth and went into the sea. The flag fell on the sea, and Hook appeared with his head under the flag, screaming and running across the water. "SMEE! SMEE!" Tick-Tock got him, and Hook ran to the end of the tail, bumped, and then ran out of Tick-Tock's mouth. His shirt, pants, socks, and boots were now shown, and he was holding an alarm clock, which ringed. He threw it back in Tick-Tock's mouth and began swimming. Tick-Tock swallowed it, and he went after Hook.

"SMEE!" Hook screamed, as he lifted his legs and still swimming while Tick-Tock tried to eat him. Hook put his legs in Tick-Tock's mouth. "SMEE!" He screamed and kept swimming with Tick-Tock's mouth held on by his feet. "SMEE!" Then Tick-Tock closed his mouth, and Hook was skipping across like a rock bouncing off the sea. "SMEE!" He zoomed under the pirates' rowing boat followed by Tick-Tock.

"Captain!" Smee gasped, as they chased them to the distance, "Captain! Captain!"

After Peter sent Hook being chased away by Tick-Tock, Skippy, Piglet, and the Lost Hundred Acre Wood Toys took over the ship as they climbed down the rope ladder and cheered. Peter emerged, wearing Hook's hat and coat and carrying Hook's sword.

"HOORAY!" the boys cheered. "HOORAY FOR CAPTAIN PETER!"

Peter said in a commanding voice, "All right, you swabs! Aloft with ya! We're casting off!" The boys saluted and ran to do their part. "Heave those halyards!" Peter yelled, as Wendy walked up to him.

"But, Peter, oh, that is… Captain Peter," she said, as she made a small curtsey.

"At your service, madam!" Peter said, as he took off his hat and bowed to her.

"Could you tell me, sir, where we're sailing?" asked Wendy.

"To London, madam." Peter smiled, as he put the hat back on and walked to the steering wheel.

"Oh, Peter!" Wendy said dreamily. Then she called, "Piglet! Skippy! We're going home!"

"All right!" Skippy cheered.

"Man the capstan!" Peter ordered, "Hoist anchor!"

The Lost Hundred Acre Wood Toys pulled up the anchor from the sea.

"Pixie dust!" Peter called to Tinkerbell.

"Aye, aye, captain!" Tinkerbell said. Then she spread the whole ship with pixie dust, turning it gold. Then, when she was finished, the ship lifted in the air, leaving Neverland and back to London.

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